Love, Courtship and Marriage Produced by Simon Siew

Love, Courtship and Marriage Produced by Simon Siew

Love, Courtship and Marriage Produced by Simon Siew 7 Stages in Boy-Girl Relationships Produced by Simon Siew Infancybabyhood Boys and girls interested only in themselves Produced by Simon Siew Early

Childhood (before age 8) Boys and girls seek the companionship of other children, regardless of sex (i.e. not gender conscious) Produced by Simon Siew About age 8

Boys prefer to play with boys, girls with girls (i.e. gender conscious) Produced by Simon Siew Ages 10-12 Antagonism shown between the two sex groups Produced by Simon Siew Ages 13 to 14 Girls become

interested in boys, try to attract their attention; boys however are aloof Produced by Simon Siew Produced by Simon Siew Ages 14 to 16 Boys also show interest in girls; some individuals begin to pair off at this time

Ages 16 to 17 onwards Going out in couples become common. and is considered to be natural among youth. Produced by Simon Siew Four stages of Love, Courtship & Marriage seen through the analogy of shopping

Friendship - window shopping, scouting to see which to buy. Dont limit your friendship, do as many as possible, and be friendly. Courtship eagerly looking at the product carefully to decide whether to buy it or not. REMEMBER: See but NO Touch! Engagement - putting a deposit for the product which is signaling your intention to buy. Marriage - buying the product, closing the deal (no refund or return of product allowed!) Produced by Simon Siew

The four processes leading to marriage Friendshi p/ Relating Courtship Praying Inquiring Filtering Relating as a friend

Deepening friendship leading to commitme nt Produced by Simon Siew Engagem ent Marriage Announceme

Entering nt of into a marriage lifelong intention covenant of leading to loving each greater focus other on each other. It is important to look ahead to

marriage even though it may still be a long way off for many of us. Looking ahead to marriage This is because a happy successful marriage does not come easy as it involves careful thinking and planning. Marriage does not just happen it takes effort, time, energy and much prayer. Unless we make it known that we are interested in getting married and do something about it, chances are that

you will remain single. Produced by Simon Siew Wrong reasons for marriage

Produced by Simon Siew Pregnancy Rebellion Escape Physical attraction Social pressure Guilt Pity Infatuation Romance It is falling in love at first sight, a blind love which lacks realism. It tends to idolize the person and sees only

the attractive qualities while overlooking the flaws. Marks of infatuation It is an emotional high which does not last long as feelings have taken over common sense. It hits suddenly and is an instant love without any deep thought. Often fickle - person may be in love with more than one person. It is a selfish kind of love which cannot survive separation and brings disapproval of

family. Produced by Simon Siew Infatuation and physical intimacies Infatuation is often marked by the fact that the couple always want to be alone and they strive on heavy petting and intimate contacts. When the physical intimacies finally give way to sex, there is nothing more for them to experience (no more thrill) and that usually is the

beginning of problems in their relationship. Produced by Simon Siew PUPPY LOVE LEADS TO Produced by Simon Siew A DOGS LIFE! Produced by Simon Siew

Waits for the right time and the right circumstances. Has its roots in friendship. Brings out the best in you and the other person. Has commitment and is respectful of the other. Produced by Simon Siew Marks of true love Develops slowly. Emphasis is on giving.

Love wants what is best for the other person. Love is willing to wait. Has a positive behavior and is unselfish (selfless) Recognizes faults. Controls physical contact. Often brings approval of family. Produced by Simon Siew What love cannot do It is natural to want someone to love you and for you to

have someone you can love in return (it doesnt mean you are desperate!). However you cannot make someone love you as love is always a choice and cannot be forced upon a person. No matter how much you may love a person, you cannot change him/her to love you. Produced by Simon Siew How do you know You need to ask first whether you are the right person.

whether the person Seek someone with the same faith and love for God. is the right person? Check to see if your parents approve of the person. Seek the counsel of godly people for they often can offer insights that you do not have. Do you feel peace and joy in your heart from knowing that person? If there is more than one person to choose from, pray for wisdom to decide on the best match for you. Produced by Simon Siew

Gods will is not hitting the bulls eye because Gods will is more comprehensive than that. Some people believe that Gods will is very specific e.g. that there is ONLY one person whom He has predestined for you to marry and that marrying anyone else is against His will. On the contrary, it is possible that there may be more than one person approved of God and you will want His wisdom to decide on the better choice/match. Differentiating between Gods will

and Gods wisdom Produced by Simon Siew Seeking out those approved of God (within His will) Those approved of God are those of the same faith and love for Him and who follows the Bible. 2 Cor. 6:14,15 - Do not be yoked together with

unbelievers.What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? Produced by Simon Siew Someone who is a Christian but who is already married or has a lifestyle contrary to Gods words cannot be considered as one Seeking Gods wisdom to decide the best

match among those approved of Him After separating those approved of God from those who arent, pray and seek after Gods wisdom to determine which among those approved is the best choice for you. Produced by Simon Siew This is where the issue of compatibility

comes in. How compatible are you with your friend? How much does the 2 circles interlock as the friendship progresses YOU Produced by Simon Siew YOUR FRIEND Hardly anything in common with each other

Not the best of choice YOU Produced by Simon Siew YOUR FRIEND A little bit in common with each other Possibly a good choice but will have much to work on in marriage YOU

Produced by Simon Siew YOUR FRIEND Much in common with each other Definitely a much better choice YOU YOUR FRIEN D The two have become soul

Produced by Simon Siew Areas of compatibility Spirituality ardent for God versus complacent, compromising Values strong moral values versus immoral ones Produced by Simon Siew

Areas of compatibility Personality introvert versus extrovert Tastes sophisticated and refined versus coarse and rough disposition Produced by Simon Siew Areas of compatibility

Intellectual level knowledgeable and well read versus simple World views parochial (narrow) versus universal (wide) Produced by Simon Siew Areas of compatibility Interests

Produced by Simon Siew Hobbies Games Sports Music Politics Areas of compatibility Future outlook what each other

wants for the future and the directions of their lives Produced by Simon Siew Areas of compatibility Approach to conflict resolution Produced by Simon Siew Flaring up openly / embarrassing each other in public

Violent outburst Silent treatment / ignoring the other Complaining through a third party Expressing problems through writing to each other Speaking openly to each other truthfully and tactfully What makes men and women attractive Like attracts unlike i.e. the feminine and masculine appeal of both sexes.

A man seeks to marry a woman and NOT a man and vice versa. The draw of a woman more often lies in her soft, gentle and kind nature and demeanor than for her looks (even those that is important too). The draw of a man lies in his ability to inspire confidence and to project strength and security as well as display wisdom. The warmth of his personality helps too. Produced by Simon Siew How do we make friends with the opposite

sex Create opportunities rather than wait for things to happen (be proactive). Take the initiative to make new friends and have a wide circle of friends. Learn to do self-introduction or ask others to introduce you to friends Research - find out about the other person through your friends. Look for opportunities when it would be totally alright to be with that person.

Be creative in the way you seek the persons friendship so that it wont seem like you are wooing the person which can be quite alarming for one who is Produced by Simon Siew not ready. E.g. Be of service to the other. Person is stealing glances at you. Unusual number of coincidental bumping into each other. Person likes to be in your company. Person is extra helpful to you - always volunteering to help you.

How do we know the other person like us? Person starts sending letters or emails, cards or gifts at every possible occasion or is Texting SMS you frequently. Person is asking your friend about you. Person is asking you things which are personal e.g. birthday, tel. numbers. Starts offering to pay for your food or other expenses. Produced by Simon Siew

The four processes leading to marriage Friendshi p/ Relating Courtship Praying Inquiring Filtering Relating as a friend

Deepening friendship leading to commitme nt Produced by Simon Siew Engagem ent Marriage Announceme Entering

nt of into a marriage lifelong intention covenant of leading to loving each greater focus other on each other.

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